Madness In Wonderland With Miss Bekah Marie! :D

Oct 01

quote My entire life my dad has taught me to see past the way things look and to search for the beauty where it seems there is none. About a year ago, we were walking together on a sidewalk lined with roses; I pointed them out and he kicked the one closest to him, knocking all its petals onto the cement. I told him that he ruined it, that it had been beautiful, and he said it still was. I don’t know if he meant to slip a message, like he often does, into that moment. But it really stuck with me, and now I think of that rose as every person who has been judged and hurt because of the way they look. To most people, it’s just a rose with no petals-broken and ugly-when in reality, these people really are some of the most incredible, beautiful roses you will ever meet.

— Storm Sixx (Nikki Sixx’s Daughter.. The pic is Nikki Sixx :D) Nikki Sixx
Oct 01

quote Girls are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want 2 reach for the good ones because their AFRAID of falling and getting HURT. Instead, they just get the ROTTEN apples that are one the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apple at the top think there’s something WRONG with them when in reality, they are AMAZING they just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one brave enough to climb all the way to the top.

— Pete Wentz. :D Pete Wentz
Sep 28

I Think It’s Time For Me To Tell A Very Important Part to My Story. :)

To begin my story, Let’s go back to about a year ago. It was in the morning when school started. I had gotten to my locker and my friend Sara and her cousin named Chase, went up to my locker to talk to me. Most of this story is about him… unfortunately….

Anyways, a lot more of my friends came to my locker and we all started to talk, just like every single morning. Then i noticed that Chase wasn’t really talking to anybody, so i decided to start to talk to him. We must have talked all that morning, because i think we realized that we had a lot in common, which was good cause i didn’t want to be friends with him if we didn’t have anything in common, you know?

After a couple of months, we became like super good friends. I knew he had like super big problems, but at that time I did too. I’m not saying that I still don’t have some of those problems; it’s just that last year was probably the worst year for my emotions. I’ve figured out how to deal with them a lot better. 

I have to admit…. and it makes me sick that admit this, but it’s true and I need to tell it… I developed a massive crush on him. (ick!!! D:) And let me tell you what, Chase is NOT very attractive… 

With me and guys, it doesn’t really matter what you look like, it just matters if I realize that you care enough about me and you’re nice. :D In Feburary, it finally happened… He asked me out. Over facebook.

Now how dumb is it to ask a girl out over the chat option on facebook???? D: I believe that if you’re gonna ask someone out, PLEASE do it in person. Apparently, my heart was super wrong and i just said yes on the facebook chat option to him, because when you really really like someone, your emotions rule over your entire being and thought process.

So we went out for the WEEKEND and he decided to break up with me the day before Valentine’s Day. Let me repeat that… THE DAY BEFORE VALENTINE’S DAY! What guy breaks up with a girl the day before Valentine’s Day??? Anyway, my sister basically yelled at him and told him that he should totally ask me out again and he decided to take that chance. And I said ok. Because I believe in Second Chances with guys. But if you mess up the second chance… Boy, you’re dead.

So we went out for two weeks and he tells me in a note that we had to break up because he got a girl pregnant….. Yeps. He got a girl pregnant while he was dating me… -.- Needless to say, he’s a douchebag. XD

So when he broke up with me, word went around fast because we have a tiny school, so Steven (:D) who I had already known for like three years before and was always nice to me, found out and messaged me on facebook and asked if I was ok. I said yeah, and then talked to him for a couple of hours and he really cared. :)

A couple weeks later, my youth group went over this book about young relationships. I realized that that relationship with Chase was a bad one from the start, and me and Steven just kept on talking and talking to each other. One day he admitted that he had liked me for a very long time, and I confessed that I liked him too. But then he said that he wasn’t sure about how our relationship would go if we started dating each other. I said that we wouldn’t know if we didn’t try, but he still wasn’t sure.

A couple weeks later, I went to teen youth group camp and had a blast! While during that week, the preacher taught me stuff about relationships, too. By the end of the week, I had realized that I had to be with Steven. :)

So a few days after I got back from camp, Steven came over to my house for the day and we had fun just chilling. We ended up holding hands. :) So by the end of the day… I had a boyfriend. :)

Me and Steven have been together for 3 months and 8 days and I am so happy with him. :) I freaking love him and I hope we are together for a very long time. :)

So that’s my story about rain, but suddenly a rainbow appears…. :)

Sep 28
Young Love… :) <3

Young Love… :) <3

Sep 19


“Pull Me In”
The Graduate

Have you ever found home to be an abstract place? Maybe you spent years searching for something that felt real to you but just got discouraged because it was not there. I felt that no matter where I was, it just was not what I needed. There wasn’t a home that I felt a part of, no matter how hard I searched. I felt like I did not belong.

A few short years ago, I struggled with depression. I kept struggling because I was not aware that I was depressed. I ignored my problem and always told myself “it will pass, it’s just a stage.” The longer that I believed I was okay, the worse my depression became. I was creating a monster that I could not handle on my own, but there I was, oblivious to my own stubbornness. There was so much pressure to graduate college, be there for my friends, be a supporting boyfriend, and maintain a social life. I had all of these puzzle pieces but no way to fit them into the same picture. Most of all, I was missing the most important piece… myself. I was so worried about being there for everyone else’s needs that I completely ignored my own health. I was building something that I honestly had no business being a part of until I found that absent piece.

It was not until a close friend of mine told me that he was going to a counselor at his school that I realized that maybe that was an answer for me. That first meeting with my counselor was an eye-opening one. She defined me as depressed. Me? How could that be? As shocking as that was, it was just what I needed to hear. That was the start of looking after myself and leading a healthy life. It was okay to admit that there was a problem, in fact it was important to share. This was not something that I had to deal with by myself. I did not want to seem weak to those close to me, but in reality there was strength in trying to be healthy.

I thought I was an independent person, but I was not aware of the benefit of having loved ones to lean on. My meaning was lost in my selfishness to not open up. The truth was that sharing those parts of me strengthened my friendships. With that realization, I found my way out of those dark, confusing times and found a path to a healthy lifestyle that includes a very open relationship with my friends and family. Of course, I still have my stumbles, but I know now that I am not expected to get through those times alone.

At this point in my life I am on a journey to find out where I will end up. I am learning more about my friends, my family, my surroundings, and myself. I do not feel the pressure of knowing this instant, but rather allowing the progression of life to happen naturally with those around me. It’s an exciting time, and I am enjoying knowing that this healthy feeling is home. It is my comfort. And now I even look forward to those times of difficulties to learn more about myself and strengthen my relationships.

The Graduate’s song “Pull Me In” puts my feelings of hope and contentment in words that speak to me. For me, this song speaks of finding community. At times you can see that things are about to go wrong, but the fact that you are not alone really helps overcome that feeling with the excitement of taking on the world and coming out a better person. Every piece of it: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is all a part of me, and I am happy to embrace it. I can finally say that I am home.

I found the importance of community. And I feel it in every part of my life. I may have struggled finding my home, but now I know it is not a place for me. Home is all around me. So when I find myself filling with doubt, I take the time to step back and take in my surroundings. It is impossible not to be overwhelmed with the amount of hope and love that I have found myself a part of. A few short years later, I know…

“I’m just fine. I’m alive. I am home.”

Fall 2011 Intern

Sep 13

"Strawberry Swing" By Coldplay. The song that made me have my self realization. (see previous blog. :D)

Sep 13

Without You It’s A Waste Of Time…. <3

I had a huge self realization about me and my bf yesterday night. I’ve been thinking about it all day now and i really think that this is true… and i feel like i should post it on here…. So here’s my thoughts…

I was listening to this song called “Strawberry Swing” By Coldplay for the first time and i didn’t know why at first, but it really moved me and i started crying. I listened to it some more and i just kept on crying. I thought something was wrong with me at first, but then I finally got it… I thought that this song was soo moving, because i thought it was about two young people in love. And that’s exactly what me and Steven are. Just two young and simple people persons in love.

I know that this probably sounds really weird to you and all, but i know that Steven is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He’s the sweetest, caring, understanding, hilarious, lovable, brilliant, amazing, awesome, coolest guy i’ve ever known. :) I could list off a bunch of more adjectives about him, but i figured that these would be the best to describe him and you guys get the picture already well enough. xD

And yesterday, i finally really understood why in the world he would want to go out with a useless girl like me. It’s because… He feels exactly the same with me. Which makes me soo happy and loved and just amazing. (Oh geez, here i go again crying… :’) I mean, nobody ever really cared and understood me until him. He is the one who makes me happy every single day, no matter what in the world happened or anything. I love him. :’)

Yeah, people i just said i loved him. And It’s TRUE. I don’t care what you say; I know what you’re gonna say “Oh you’re just young and blah blah blah….” But guess what? I don’t care, because you’re not the one who is in love with him. I Am. And you never will be…. Not if I can help it. :)

Jul 12

From the Winnie the Pooh Commercials. xD

Jul 12

High Fiving A Spider

  • "Me: Yeah.^^ So, whatcha doing fish?
  • Katie: High fiving a spider
  • Me: Eww!!!
  • Katie: First time I ever touched a spider without screaming
  • Me: Good job lol
  • Katie: Would you like to high five it? Yeah Ashley was holding a spider and I was like, Wait! Lemme high five it!
  • Me: Eww, no not
  • Katie: Bekah, it was a coloring page xD"
Jul 12

quote "Are you ready? Believe. All our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them." - Criss Angel